We are at such a pivotal time in history in regards to our mental and physical health. THE DEMANDS OF MOTHERHOOD ARE ALREADY SO ENORMOUS! SIMULTANEOUSLY OUR CHILDREN ARE BEING DIAGNOSED WITH CHRONIC ILLNESSES AT AN UNPRECEDENTED RATE. EVEN WHEN SEEKING OUR PHYSICIANS’ HELP, THERE ARE GAPS IN TREATMENT AND DIAGNOSIS, LEAVING MOTHERS STRESSED, EXHAUSTED, AND TRAPPED IN A CYCLE OF FEAR.
Motherhood has become more of a race than a blessing and is beyond what any woman could keep up with. Suddenly, moms are expected to be CEOs, caretakers, organic chefs, world-class photographers, social planners, doctors, coaches, and teachers. Oh, and make sure to post pictures of the whole family looking so happy!
WE HAVE BEEN PULLED IN SO MANY DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS. HOW COULD WE NOT BE STRESSED, IRRITABLE, AND OVERWHELMED? IN THE PURSUIT OF RAISING HEALTHY, HAPPY, “SUCCESSFUL” KIDS, MANY OF US HAVE LOST THOSE THINGS IN OURSELVES.
WE WORRY ABOUT THE HEALTH OF OUR FAMILIES AND WONDER IF OUR FEARS ARE PARANOIA OR INTUITION. MANY OF US HAVE BEGUN TO QUESTION OUR PEDIATRICIANS BUT ARE UNSURE WHERE ELSE TO TURN, WHAT INFORMATION IS ACCURATE & HOW TO BEST HELP OUR CHILDREN THRIVE WITHOUT BEING OVERWHELMED. THIS DILEMMA IS REAL FOR MOST MOTHERS, BUT WHEN YOU ADD A FULL-TIME JOB AND A “SCARY” DIAGNOSIS, THE DEMANDS INCREASE EXPONENTIALLY.
However, WE CAN get off this wheel! I know this because I am this mom, I too was already overwhelmed before the diagnosis. As a true A-type, I was always striving for perfection, racing from one thing to another (mentally and physically), and beating myself up whenever I didn’t meet my insane standards. When I fell short of my goals, I would push myself harder. All the while, not realizing my contribution to this extreme level of stress.
IT TOOK A HEALTH CRISIS FOR OUR FAMILY TO REORGANIZE OUR PRIORITIES AND STRIP AWAY ANYTHING THAT WAS NO LONGER CRITICAL. Like us, many families that have reversed chronic illnesses have become immersed in this restructuring through necessity. THIS JOURNEY, ALTHOUGH NEVER EASY, CAN HAVE A MIRACULOUS EFFECT. WHEN FULLY COMMITTED, THOSE INVOLVED EMERGE HEALTHIER, STRONGER, SMARTER, AND HAPPIER WITH A LEVEL OF PEACE AND GRATITUDE THEY NEVER KNEW POSSIBLE.
Regardless of the current state of health of your family, when it comes to our children, LOVE is what unifies parents—the desire to give them or help them create a beautiful life. In this striving, our children are learning to mirror our behaviors. Although the stress we feel is out of “love and concern” (& our fears), it is still stress. We are inadvertently teaching our kids; happiness resides outside of us and is influenced by our surroundings and what “happens to us.” TO FREE THEM OF THIS BURDEN, WE MUST FIRST FREE OURSELVES.
Luckily, the same tools that lead to the demise of many can be the key to ASCENDING THE NEW STRESS OF MOTHERHOOD. Instead of hours spent SCROLLING THROUGH useless distraction and entertainment, we can choose to spend that time in EDUCATION AND GROWTH. The type of change that heals generations of family trauma and limiting beliefs. To heal our families and ourselves, mind, body, and soul, we need to recognize health as the most prized possession and decide to put it before all things. Admittedly, this is not always easy and similar to any physical healing journey, it will often not happen linearly. However, it is a worthwhile endeavor and one that every family should invest in, especially if you are trying to heal a chronic illness.
I am sure there are dozens of ways to achieve the outcomes I am discussing, and I DO NOT PRETEND TO BE ALL-KNOWING. Nor am I a metaphysical or spiritual guru of any kind. In truth, I COULDN’T HAVE BEEN ANY FURTHER FROM THIS at the beginning of our journey. For this reason, I am just the person to tell you about some of these practices, because IF I CAN DO IT, ANYONE CAN!
So, how do we go about stepping off the wheel and creating joy, peace, and resilience? Regardless of our situation or health? The key to this resides in our daily habits & consistent practices.
The things that have made the most significant impact on our family and that I highly recommend to everyone are as follows:
MEDITATION- I know some of you just rolled your eyes, as I did when this was first suggested to me. Although I resisted and thought I didn’t have time and could never sit still that long, this was the most impactful change I have ever made in my entire life. This tool has had the most far-reaching effects on every aspect of my life and even those around me.
Try- A meditation program or class such as Ziva Meditation, the Chopra Center, Mindvalley, or Joe Dispenza are excellent for guided meditation. You can even quickly try one of the phone apps to start like Headspace & Calm. Using an app or a program will help you to stay consistent in the beginning when meditation feels the most cumbersome- and when you have some questions. (In the beginning, you may think you’re doing it wrong! You aren’t; it is called a meditation “practice ” for a reason. Keep at it; it will change your life!
GRATITUDE PRACTICE- We have become a society that focuses on achievements and the accumulation of goods. In this striving for more, many of us focus on where we need to go, what we need to obtain, and what is next, often forgetting to look at how far we have come or taking the time to give thanks for all of the little things we have.
Try- Start and end your day with gratitude. If you are battling a chronic illness, this can sometimes feel difficult as it is easy to focus on the pain, which makes this practice even more important. Living in the negative emotions of fear and pain are catastrophic for the immune system. Every day, find things you are grateful for, and as you focus on these things, allow yourself to become deeply immersed in the images and emotions of them until it brings a smile to your face.
CONSCIOUS PARENTING – Parenting is the most challenging job on the planet, and many of us have not had any previous training. With the level of stress and the demands in our lives, it is no wonder we struggle to be the calm, content parents we dreamed we would be.
“You’re making it hard for me to be the parent I always dreamed I would be.” LOL
We have learned through this journey how important emotions are in the healing process. Holding space for our little ones when their emotions overcome them is a skill, not an innate ability, and the more we work on it, the better we get.
Try- During your drive to work or in headphones while cleaning up around the house, listen to an audiobook by Shefali Tsabury, Laura Markham, or Carol Tuttle. Another great resource is Afineparent.com, where many of these teachings are condensed. Mindvalley.com also has masterclasses on conscious parenting.
SUMMITS- If you are also dealing with a health issue for yourself or a family member, the internet is a fantastic resource. However, you need to know where to look for the information. There are so many Summits available on many different topics. When you sign up for some, you will get more invitations.
Try- Start by Following some of these trailblazers. Use any form of communication you prefer- Instagram, Facebook, or Email. You can also purchase any one of their Summits, which are an excellent value for an enormous amount of information on children’s health and healing. Carla Atherton (The Healthy Family Formula) has done FOUR summits, all on children’s health & was the first person ever to have done so for kids. The last one was specifically for chronic illness.
Elisa Song (Healthy Kids, Happy Kids) is a holistic pediatrician and a wealth of knowledge. She did the Thriving Child Summit and continues to do Facebook , and Instagram Lives.
If you need some help getting oriented and would like a game plan on how to ascend the new stress of motherhood I would be honored to help! IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS PLEASE BOOK A FREE 15 MINUTE CONSULTATION
